Wordless Wednesday – Kind of

The first few weeks of Storm’s absence was extremely difficult. It had been a while since something (or someone) that close to me had passed away. Some of my grandparents have passed but I wasn’t super close to them. This may have been my first real big death. And it SUCKS. It blows goats. But, as people have mentioned to me, it gets a little better with time. I know that I am certainly in a better state of mind than a month ago. I can actually talk about her now. I may be crying, but at least I can talk about her where before I just couldn’t do it. In fact, it is positive I will be crying because there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry about her.

I have been spending a lot of time by myself in my home. Yes, yes I know that isn’t healthy for me blah blah blah. But I haven’t been just curled up in a ball watching t.v., I either read or color. Definitely more of coloring.

And when my mind is thinking too much I turn to reading as I am then whisked away somewhere else while being someone else. Last week, my sister asked if I could start helping her out by picking up one of my youngest nephews from school, take him home and watching him for about an hour and half. Something again about me needing to get out of my house. I don’t want to but I know she would help me in a heartbeat so I said I would a couple days a week. So I started this week and have been ill every day so far. Haha! I swear it hasn’t been intentional! 🙂

I wanted to have something with me everyday with Storm’s ashes so I pulled up Amazon on my phone. I picked out a necklace, that also doubles as a key chain. The ratings were good with a price of only $10.99. It’s pretty heavy! I like it though. 🙂 A couple of my cousins are getting me something, but I will have to post a picture once I get it.

I must admit that I have already started to look at other dogs and pets. It seems a bit early, especially with how close I was to Storm. I think having something else to focus on, will help me focus on her less. I also think Storm’s whole leg issues made me be aware that she might not have much more time with me. So maybe my grieving started early?? There were quite a few times that I not only thought she was going to die but was questioning if I should put her to sleep. Those last four to five months were literally hell for us. And as much as I loathe that she is not here, I know she is in a better place now.

Storm’s 8th birthday – her last birthday, right in the middle of our hellish months

 

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Author: paws2smile

I am a geeky animal lover and have an American Bulldog named Storm. Storm is my everything. She helps keep me sane by being my companion pet. I am an expert in chronic pain as I have Systemic Lupus, Fibromyalgia and migraines. I was diagnosed with Lupus in 2000 and the rest followed after that year.

11 thoughts on “Wordless Wednesday – Kind of”

  1. So sorry to hear about Storm but yes, she’s hopefully in a happy place and will always look at you with a smile! You will never stop missing her but it definitely isn’t wrong to look for another pet to spread the love you have in your heart 🙂

  2. I love the necklace you got to keep Storm close to you always. And it sounds like you are slowly recovering a little. Losing any pet is hard, but I think the circumstances of Storm’s passing just make it harder. I still get very sad about Mr Spaghetti Legs and he died of very old age.
    It would be great if you could help out your sister, when you are well enough. It’ll give you purpose and ultimately help you move forward. And when the time is right for you, you’ll find a new pet to love, with Storm’s blessing. 🙂

  3. Try not to compare your grief timeline with what you think it “should” be. Everyone grieves differently and, you are right, in that you may have started the grieving process early since she was in bad shape for months. Even though it is hard, try to trust the process and, as scifihammy said, you will know when the time is right to open your heart to another dog.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. It takes a lot of courage to do right by our dogs and make these difficult decisions and Storm is in a better place now and free from all her pain. Time is a great healer and there are so many dogs in the shelters waiting for a loving home – when the time is right to adopt again you will know :o) xxx

  5. That remembrance necklace is so lovely. And a great way to keep her close to you heart. Sending loads of poodle tail wags that hopefully will allow a smile or two. Watch those school petri dishes. They’re totally germ factories but kudos for helping your sis out. 😍

    1. Thank you! Yeah, I wear this necklace everyday now. Hehe, one of my sister’s sons was sick with the flu the other day. I told her I couldn’t pick up her other son because I didn’t want to risk getting sick, I told her that I haven’t gotten my flu shot yet. I should schedule that….

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