Two Fish, Three Fish, No Fish

Hey everyone, sorry you haven’t heard/seen me lately. I forgot how much my Fibromyalgia hates winter and cold. I was in more pain than normal all of last month. I went through some of your blog posts but that was all you were going to get from me. Haha! Around Thanksgiving I had a bitch of a migraine that wouldn’t disappear. Finally on the 5th straight day, I knew I had to go in and ask for something different/stronger than my Percocet. My sister, M, was kind enough to pick me up and take me to acute care so I could get a shot at the top of my butt. 🙂 It had been quite some time since I had to get a pain shot and whewwww it burned. Now, I am mostly feeling better.

And naturally, if it’s not me having health issues it’s Storm. Yes, she is still having issues with her leg and it started to swell up again. Either she opened her old wound or it burst open on its own. I have her blood/fluids on my floors, furniture and blankets because it is slowly draining. I’m impatiently waiting for her wound to heal so I can start deep cleaning. On Monday, I take her in to get an x-ray to see if that will show anything unusual. Sigh…this damn dog is getting to be too expensive for someone on just a Social Security income. 😦

See that big ‘ol ball of fluid on what would be her kneecap?

Thankfully, I no longer have a dating life so I am able to take care of Storm and myself. I really hate the dating life. The guy I really liked saw me for a few more weeks. One night we had a REALLY great night at my place. His wall finally came down a little. I found out he loves peanut butter too so we talked about it for about five straight minutes. What started our convo was that he asked if I had something to munch on and I showed him my box of peanut butter and chocolate chip granola bars. He said he was going to eat the whole box and I thought he was joking so I said that it was fine. He ended up eating the whole box! It was a brand new box! Haha! We were cuddling on the couch and it had been almost three weeks since seeing him last so I said I had missed him and he said he missed me too. Shortly after he took off so I could sleep. I texted him the next day and I got no response. I texted him the day after and the day after that. Nothing. Okay buddy, I can take a hint. I don’t want to assume but I think maybe he got the feels for me and that scared him. I don’t find it a coincidence that I express my feelings by saying that I missed him and him disappearing after that night.

I decided to meet up with another guy to see how that went. We started to watch a movie and he didn’t waste any time in pulling me in to cuddle. Red flag! I thought that I would see how it went it a little longer. He asked me if I wanted to know anything else about him and I mentioned that I couldn’t think of anything at that time. He said that he wanted to know something else about me so I asked what he wanted to know. He said, “I want to know if you are a good kisser.” I giggled, he was being so corny. So I thought, sure what the hell, and we started making out. Um, wow… Within minutes, the bottom half of my whole face was covered with his slobber. After an agonizing amount of time, I finally had to pull away and casually wipe my face.

I thought maybe I could try again but try to stay in charge and show him how to kiss me. I moved closer annnnnnnnd he stuck his tongue out in between his lips… Bahahahaha! He didn’t try put his tongue back in, he just sat there like that. HOW DO YOU EVEN RESPOND TO THAT?!?! I would lean in like I was going to kiss him,  but even then he wouldn’t pull it back in so I would awkwardly pull away. I tried a couple times yet nothing changed, so I just gave up and acted like I wanted to cuddle. Haha. He decided to give me a hickey on my neck. What the hell?!?! Are we back in high school?!?! And holy hell it HURT. It hurt so much that I could only grit my teeth in pain and not think about speaking up. Sure enough it was deep purple and hurt for a couple days after. *Shivers* It was such a bad date. He was a “one and done.” Soon after that, I deleted my profile on POF. 

One Fish

When you first join a dating website, it can get a bit overwhelming. I’m not trying to brag but I received a lot of emails all at once in the beginning. I can imagine a man sitting at his computer saying, “Oh! Fresh meat,” as he clicks on my profile. Thankfully there are less emails today.

I decided to finally meet one of the men that sent me an email. He started the email with calling me beautiful. Ha, yeah okay. I’m cute but don’t consider myself beautiful or gorgeous. Not unless I’m dolled up or something…. Anyway, I decided to check out his profile. He is a good looking man and fit. A guy that looks as good as that does not like a woman like me. I’m not trying to be negative, just realistic. He kept pressuring to meet me that night and finally I caved.

This is not my first rodeo so I picked a safe place to meet him–at a park. We agreed to go for a walk with my dog because she was going a little stir crazy. He parked near me and actually looked like his picture. From the pictures, it made it difficult to see that he was a smaller frame. He was about my height (5’4″) or little shorter. Which is fine, I’ve dated a guy shorter than me before.

We chat for a moment then he mentioned that he had to pick up his brother at the airport in an hour (wait, weren’t we supposed to be on a date of some sorts??). I played along like we never made plans. We chatted for a couple more minutes then he drove off. He said he would get a hold of me after he took his brother home. I thought to myself, ‘Wow, he must have been so repulsed by me that he decided to make an excuse to ditch our plans.’ I apologized to Storm of the change of plans (i.e no walk) and we headed home.

I was surprised when he texted me later that night asking if I wanted to meet back up. I told him no and that I would another time, even though I had no intentions on doing so. Around this time is when I had decided to text one of my best friends, Nicolioli (my nickname for her haha). She wanted to know details about the guy and our meet, which I happily gave her.

Then he asked me to send a picture of my chest to him and I said no. Next he asked to come over and cuddle. I laughed and told him that I knew what cuddling led to. He was getting PUSHY and wouldn’t back down. He wanted to meet and it had to be THAT night. It’s not good to assume things, but I think it’s safe to say that he just wanted a piece of ass. I sent him a text stating, ‘I’m still saying no. And the more you don’t take my answer, the more I wonder.’ That finally shut him up.  Sure enough, a few hours later he texted again but I didn’t bother opening it.

So, nothing too crazy happened but it makes me wonder what else will be sent my way.

If I could suggest one piece of advice to men about online dating it would be this: Think about what you use for your profile pictures. Seriously. They say a lot (or not a lot) about you. And I’m sure there are some guys yucking it up with putting a funny pic of them in their golden eight choices that they have. More than likely women will think it’s stupid if you think it’s funny.

Doing the Dating Website Thing…Again

Recently I decided to join POF (Plenty of Fish). Why? I’m still trying to figure out that myself. My last relationship came from POF and we were together for almost two years. With being on disability, I don’t get out much and this is one of the few ways to meet people.

I was on the site for only a couple days when I already wanted to delete my account. There are a few people that struck my fancy and I have chatted with them a couple times. One of the first messages I got from someone asked what I was doing and so I replied. His next message said, “You like to suck cock?” Ahhhhhh the joys of dating websites..

But one guy who I thought was gorgeous (in almost a bad boy way) finally messaged me. He didn’t start with the typical male response, ‘Hi, you’re beautiful.’ He talked to me like he was talking to a friend. Soon he gave me his number and said to text because that was easier than conversing on the POF site. I silently screamed in joy thinking he might actually be interested in me. We texted back and forth a couple times then he asked if I wanted to hang out that weekend. I of course said yes.

I had to pretty much wipe the drool coming from my mouth while I was watching him come up to my door. We decided to watch Mad Max since he had not seen it yet. I only have a love seat so we sat very close throughout the movie. Soon he started rearranging himself and put his legs on my legs. I smiled but didn’t want to show too much emotion to ya know, play it cool. He started to rearrange again, this time putting his feet on the arm rest of one end and his head on my lap at the other end.

I was giving him a head message and he was becoming super relaxed. He started to cuddle me, trying to get my touch on him as much as possible. I smiled but made sure he didn’t see me do it.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me for a couple seconds and we both decided to kiss. We kissed for a while before realizing we needed more room to be comfortable and that the little love seat would not do. So naturally, we went up to my bedroom to make out. And what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom! 🙂 But this guy is so PASSIONATE. It has been a while since I dated (or made out with) a guy with a lot of passion. It’s addicting and made me want to be just as passionate.

We have only hung out a couple times but I think he maybe wants just to be FWB (friends with benefits). Or maybe he is just different than the rest of the men and really does like me as he says he does. I don’t know, only time will tell I guess. Like a normal woman, I have hope that he will soon realize how good of a catch I am. I need to remember to stop thinking so damn much and learn to have a little fun. Whatever happens will happen. If things don’t work out with this guy I am going to go back to my single life and enjoy being selfish.