Ahhhhhh The Puppy Stage…

Even though the last time I experienced the puppy stage eight years ago with Storm, I can still remember how frustrating it was. Funny thing is, even though I remember it, dealing with another puppy is like I forgotten about it, even though I haven’t. Does that make sense? I hope so because I’m not sure how else to word that. Hahaha! Things with Benelli are going okay, I’m just not used to having a puppy around. As with a normal human baby, I don’t get the greatest sleep and I run on caffeine. It can be really difficult because it interferes with my Lupus and Fibro. But I know I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to if he wasn’t in my life. It’s just a challenge within a challenge. Haha!

Crate training is rough right now.  He screams bloody murder when he’s in his crate. And I mean he is LOUD! Yes, I have put toys in there for him. Yes, I have covered it. Yes, I give him treats right before he goes in and some once he is in it. Yes, I have put in my worn shirt so it smells like me. So far the longest he has lasted is four hours and that is because I was running errands and not having to listen to him. But, I am determined and keep trying even though he doesn’t like it.

We are still working on stairs. He can go up them but can’t figure out how to go down. I suppose it doesn’t help that I always carry him both ways! 🙂

This last weekend my niece and I took him (and my three year old nephew) to the dog park for the first time. He was scared shitless. We were even in the small dog area! 🙂 I tried not to save him and pick him up much but at times I couldn’t help it.

“Save me, Mom!”

So I am trying to get him socialized and experienced to things but I feel I need to be doing a better job, mostly on socializing with other dogs. I haven’t had a chance to bring him to doggy daycare yet but it is on our list!

He loves the leaves and of course due to his breed he can’t stop chasing them. And that includes cars. We just had our first snowfall but I’m waiting to take pics when there is more since we only have an inch or two.

I find myself wishing time away quite a bit, for him to be an adult and done with the puppy stage. But after that thought, I always make sure to correct and remind myself to stay in the present. Some days are easier than others. 🙂

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It’s A Boy!

You read the title correctly! I would like you to meet Benelli!

So yes, I have a puppy not long after Storm. Honestly, I thought it would be months or years before getting another one. I was so lonely and alone. I have no one to talk/see on a daily basis since I am on disability. I am not married or have a boyfriend and I have no children. Companion pets truly do have a huge emphasis on people. I have always believed it, but even more so since Storm has been gone. The silence was deafening.

I decided to start asking questions to people that have fostered because I wasn’t sure I could ever afford another dog. And the nice thing about fostering is that you don’t have to pay for anything, they supply everything.

That soon changed as I was gifted a mini Aussie puppy! The person wishes to remain anonymous but they just have the biggest heart and I think I am still in shock.

This person sent me a message and asked if I thought I was ready for another puppy. I took some (short) time to think about it because I wasn’t sure if I was ready. How do you know you have moved through the grieving process to the point of keeping the past in the past? I am not sure if I was completely ready for another dog but said yes. How could anyone pass up a deal like that??

I waited until he was eight weeks old then brought him home. My new baby boy is a mini Aussie.  I had no clue for a name but had a couple that I liked. I finally settled with Benelli (the “i” sounds like “e”). Yes, the same name as the shotgun and yes, I chose an Italian name for an Aussie. Hahaha!

Yay first successful bath! Third time’s a charm! Haha

 

And let me tell you, it has been quite some time since I had to go through puppy/potty training! This little pup has been kicking my ass, with trying to watch out for going potty in the house to constantly playing with him to try and wear him out. Just like a human baby, sleeping in is no longer an option and I no longer have any privacy.

My Lupus is not impressed with not being able to rest much and is now pretty active. BUT, I now laugh multiple times during each day. As much as I hate it, I am constantly having to take him outside and breathe fresh air (we live in a smaller area where we do not have to worry about smog so it really is fresh air). I know he’s good for my health overall. 🙂

I am excited to start this next journey with him!

Wordless Wednesday – Kind of

The first few weeks of Storm’s absence was extremely difficult. It had been a while since something (or someone) that close to me had passed away. Some of my grandparents have passed but I wasn’t super close to them. This may have been my first real big death. And it SUCKS. It blows goats. But, as people have mentioned to me, it gets a little better with time. I know that I am certainly in a better state of mind than a month ago. I can actually talk about her now. I may be crying, but at least I can talk about her where before I just couldn’t do it. In fact, it is positive I will be crying because there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry about her.

I have been spending a lot of time by myself in my home. Yes, yes I know that isn’t healthy for me blah blah blah. But I haven’t been just curled up in a ball watching t.v., I either read or color. Definitely more of coloring.

And when my mind is thinking too much I turn to reading as I am then whisked away somewhere else while being someone else. Last week, my sister asked if I could start helping her out by picking up one of my youngest nephews from school, take him home and watching him for about an hour and half. Something again about me needing to get out of my house. I don’t want to but I know she would help me in a heartbeat so I said I would a couple days a week. So I started this week and have been ill every day so far. Haha! I swear it hasn’t been intentional! 🙂

I wanted to have something with me everyday with Storm’s ashes so I pulled up Amazon on my phone. I picked out a necklace, that also doubles as a key chain. The ratings were good with a price of only $10.99. It’s pretty heavy! I like it though. 🙂 A couple of my cousins are getting me something, but I will have to post a picture once I get it.

I must admit that I have already started to look at other dogs and pets. It seems a bit early, especially with how close I was to Storm. I think having something else to focus on, will help me focus on her less. I also think Storm’s whole leg issues made me be aware that she might not have much more time with me. So maybe my grieving started early?? There were quite a few times that I not only thought she was going to die but was questioning if I should put her to sleep. Those last four to five months were literally hell for us. And as much as I loathe that she is not here, I know she is in a better place now.

Storm’s 8th birthday – her last birthday, right in the middle of our hellish months

 

Getting back to my normal self

So mentally I am feeling better. I figure if my friends don’t want to be in my life, then I will just find some friends that care. Although it is somewhat difficult to do if you never go out and socialize. Ha! Most of the time I don’t feel well to go out. There are a couple writing groups that have had meet ups, but it’s usually only once a month and I tend to have more bad days than good in a month’s time. I will still try to go to future ones though, I’m not giving up.

At the beginning of the month my mom and I went to a showing of Cirque Du Soleil. I have never been to one before and it was BRILLIANT! Seriously, if you have the chance, GO. It is totally worth the money. Going to that with my mom really helped me get out of my depressed/negative funk.

Now how I feel physically is a different story. My Lupus is in a flare and has been mean to my stomach all of last week, making it feel nauseated and acidic. My fatigue has been horrible. I get about 12 hours at night then usually can’t stay awake during the day so I take a nap on top of the 12 hours. No, I’m not getting “too much” sleep. I listen to my body. Besides, with Storm wanting to go outside every 3-4 hours, I don’t have a chance. My Fibro areas have been painful and my Lupus has been making my joints ache. I know it will be fine though, the flare just needs to run its course.

Lately I have been obsessed with a book series about a demon chic that kicks ass! 🙂 The author is Pippa DaCosta and the first in the series is called Beyond the Veil. Seriously, it’s been ridiculous. It’s the only thing I do during the day and as soon as I finish one, I immediately go online and purchase the next in the series. It has been quite some time since an author has grabbed my attention like that. But it is possible that I can’t stop reading her books because I haven’t read any other demon series/books. I’m not sure if men would like it as it has some romance. But check it out! The prequel is a bit darker than the rest of the series, but the first in the series is currently free on Amazon. And that is how I became hooked. 🙂

I had a couple ‘snaps’ from Snapchat that I thought you guys might like. Here is one but I will make another post for a few more. I hope you guys are doing well and I will try to visit some of your blogs as I know I am behind! 🙂

LOL sometimes it is difficult to tell which way she is looking!
LOL sometimes it is difficult to tell which way she is looking!

Book Review – How To Be Sick

I normally don’t write book reviews on here but felt I needed to get the word out about a recent one that I finished. Mostly because it has to do with being ill/sick and I know some Spoonies/Lupies follow me. The book I am talking about is called, How to be Sick by Toni Bernhard.

As pictured, I bought the paperback version but you can also purchase this book as an e-book or Audiobook. I like to get my “nerd” on and highlight things to remember, and sometimes an electronic highlighter just doesn’t cut it (I love office supplies!). 🙂

I am pretty much making this my sickness Bible. Toni offers a great amount of examples which helps the reader think of ways they can apply it to their lives. And if you are a Byron Katie fan, Toni mentions her and includes some of her quotes.

Here is a list of the chapters to give you a better example of what you will be reading.

  1. Getting sick – A romantic trip to Paris
  2. Staying sick – This can’t be happening to me
  3. The Buddha tells it like it is
  4. The Universal Law of Impermanence
  5. Who is sick?
  6. Finding joy in the life you can no longer lead
  7. Soothing the body, mind and heart
  8. Using compassion to alleviate your suffering
  9. Facing the ups and downs of chronic illness with equanimity
  10. Getting off the wheel of suffering
  11. Tonglen – Spinning straw into gold
  12. With our thoughts we make the world
  13. Healing the mind by living in the present moment
  14. What to do when (it seems) you can’t do anything
  15. Zen helps
  16. Communicating with care
  17. The struggle to find community in isolation

As the last chapter finishes, the author has a guide to help with specific challenges (I loved this part!!). A couple challenges include: Blaming yourself for being sick, feeling ignored by family and friends, and suffering due to uncertainty about the future.

I want to thank my cousin, Rebecca, for recommending this book. And of course, I would like to thank the author for writing it. 🙂 The author has two other books for sale, How to Wake Up and How to Live Well. I currently have How to Live Well on my bookshelf and can’t wait to start it! 🙂

 

 

Stay….

Oh man, I am so far behind in the blogging world! I have been trying to keep up-to-date with everyone else’s blog and while also completely ignoring my blog. So pleeeeeeeease know that I not hatin’ on anyone–I love you all! 🙂

The last month I have been dealing with constant nausea, which I’m guessing is from my Lupus since this tends to happen often. It’s a bitch to get anything done when you have nausea. And if you are doing both? Forgetta’-bout it! Thankfully I didn’t have both but I still didn’t get anything done. Haha!

I went somewhere on Wednesday but I am not going to say where because I have pictures! 🙂 So hopefully I will post that blog soon.

This morning Storm and I woke up extra early and went for a walk to enjoy the cooler temperature. I can’t believe she actually stayed in her spot so I could get this shot! I have one a little closer but I like the long range pic the best.

 

 

Have a fabulous weekend!

P.S. I bet you can barely contain your excitement of finding out where I went, huh? 🙂

stimpy