You read the title correctly! I would like you to meet Benelli!
So yes, I have a puppy not long after Storm. Honestly, I thought it would be months or years before getting another one. I was so lonely and alone. I have no one to talk/see on a daily basis since I am on disability. I am not married or have a boyfriend and I have no children. Companion pets truly do have a huge emphasis on people. I have always believed it, but even more so since Storm has been gone. The silence was deafening.
I decided to start asking questions to people that have fostered because I wasn’t sure I could ever afford another dog. And the nice thing about fostering is that you don’t have to pay for anything, they supply everything.
That soon changed as I was gifted a mini Aussie puppy! The person wishes to remain anonymous but they just have the biggest heart and I think I am still in shock.
This person sent me a message and asked if I thought I was ready for another puppy. I took some (short) time to think about it because I wasn’t sure if I was ready. How do you know you have moved through the grieving process to the point of keeping the past in the past? I am not sure if I was completely ready for another dog but said yes. How could anyone pass up a deal like that??
I waited until he was eight weeks old then brought him home. My new baby boy is a mini Aussie. I had no clue for a name but had a couple that I liked. I finally settled with Benelli (the “i” sounds like “e”). Yes, the same name as the shotgun and yes, I chose an Italian name for an Aussie. Hahaha!
And let me tell you, it has been quite some time since I had to go through puppy/potty training! This little pup has been kicking my ass, with trying to watch out for going potty in the house to constantly playing with him to try and wear him out. Just like a human baby, sleeping in is no longer an option and I no longer have any privacy.
My Lupus is not impressed with not being able to rest much and is now pretty active. BUT, I now laugh multiple times during each day. As much as I hate it, I am constantly having to take him outside and breathe fresh air (we live in a smaller area where we do not have to worry about smog so it really is fresh air). I know he’s good for my health overall. 🙂
The first few weeks of Storm’s absence was extremely difficult. It had been a while since something (or someone) that close to me had passed away. Some of my grandparents have passed but I wasn’t super close to them. This may have been my first real big death. And it SUCKS. It blows goats. But, as people have mentioned to me, it gets a little better with time. I know that I am certainly in a better state of mind than a month ago. I can actually talk about her now. I may be crying, but at least I can talk about her where before I just couldn’t do it. In fact, it is positive I will be crying because there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry about her.
I have been spending a lot of time by myself in my home. Yes, yes I know that isn’t healthy for me blah blah blah. But I haven’t been just curled up in a ball watching t.v., I either read or color. Definitely more of coloring.
And when my mind is thinking too much I turn to reading as I am then whisked away somewhere else while being someone else. Last week, my sister asked if I could start helping her out by picking up one of my youngest nephews from school, take him home and watching him for about an hour and half. Something again about me needing to get out of my house. I don’t want to but I know she would help me in a heartbeat so I said I would a couple days a week. So I started this week and have been ill every day so far. Haha! I swear it hasn’t been intentional! 🙂
I wanted to have something with me everyday with Storm’s ashes so I pulled up Amazon on my phone. I picked out a necklace, that also doubles as a key chain. The ratings were good with a price of only $10.99. It’s pretty heavy! I like it though. 🙂 A couple of my cousins are getting me something, but I will have to post a picture once I get it.
I must admit that I have already started to look at other dogs and pets. It seems a bit early, especially with how close I was to Storm. I think having something else to focus on, will help me focus on her less. I also think Storm’s whole leg issues made me be aware that she might not have much more time with me. So maybe my grieving started early?? There were quite a few times that I not only thought she was going to die but was questioning if I should put her to sleep. Those last four to five months were literally hell for us. And as much as I loathe that she is not here, I know she is in a better place now.
So mentally I am feeling better. I figure if my friends don’t want to be in my life, then I will just find some friends that care. Although it is somewhat difficult to do if you never go out and socialize. Ha! Most of the time I don’t feel well to go out. There are a couple writing groups that have had meet ups, but it’s usually only once a month and I tend to have more bad days than good in a month’s time. I will still try to go to future ones though, I’m not giving up.
At the beginning of the month my mom and I went to a showing of Cirque Du Soleil. I have never been to one before and it was BRILLIANT! Seriously, if you have the chance, GO. It is totally worth the money. Going to that with my mom really helped me get out of my depressed/negative funk.
Now how I feel physically is a different story. My Lupus is in a flare and has been mean to my stomach all of last week, making it feel nauseated and acidic. My fatigue has been horrible. I get about 12 hours at night then usually can’t stay awake during the day so I take a nap on top of the 12 hours. No, I’m not getting “too much” sleep. I listen to my body. Besides, with Storm wanting to go outside every 3-4 hours, I don’t have a chance. My Fibro areas have been painful and my Lupus has been making my joints ache. I know it will be fine though, the flare just needs to run its course.
Lately I have been obsessed with a book series about a demon chic that kicks ass! 🙂 The author is Pippa DaCosta and the first in the series is called Beyond the Veil. Seriously, it’s been ridiculous. It’s the only thing I do during the day and as soon as I finish one, I immediately go online and purchase the next in the series. It has been quite some time since an author has grabbed my attention like that. But it is possible that I can’t stop reading her books because I haven’t read any other demon series/books. I’m not sure if men would like it as it has some romance. But check it out! The prequel is a bit darker than the rest of the series, but the first in the series is currently free on Amazon. And that is how I became hooked. 🙂
I had a couple ‘snaps’ from Snapchat that I thought you guys might like. Here is one but I will make another post for a few more. I hope you guys are doing well and I will try to visit some of your blogs as I know I am behind! 🙂
I normally don’t write book reviews on here but felt I needed to get the word out about a recent one that I finished. Mostly because it has to do with being ill/sick and I know some Spoonies/Lupies follow me. The book I am talking about is called, How to be Sick by Toni Bernhard.
As pictured, I bought the paperback version but you can also purchase this book as an e-book or Audiobook. I like to get my “nerd” on and highlight things to remember, and sometimes an electronic highlighter just doesn’t cut it (I love office supplies!). 🙂
I am pretty much making this my sickness Bible. Toni offers a great amount of examples which helps the reader think of ways they can apply it to their lives. And if you are a Byron Katie fan, Toni mentions her and includes some of her quotes.
Here is a list of the chapters to give you a better example of what you will be reading.
Getting sick – A romantic trip to Paris
Staying sick – This can’t be happening to me
The Buddha tells it like it is
The Universal Law of Impermanence
Who is sick?
Finding joy in the life you can no longer lead
Soothing the body, mind and heart
Using compassion to alleviate your suffering
Facing the ups and downs of chronic illness with equanimity
Getting off the wheel of suffering
Tonglen – Spinning straw into gold
With our thoughts we make the world
Healing the mind by living in the present moment
What to do when (it seems) you can’t do anything
Communicating with care
The struggle to find community in isolation
As the last chapter finishes, the author has a guide to help with specific challenges (I loved this part!!). A couple challenges include: Blaming yourself for being sick, feeling ignored by family and friends, and suffering due to uncertainty about the future.
I want to thank my cousin, Rebecca, for recommending this book. And of course, I would like to thank the author for writing it. 🙂 The author has two other books for sale, How to Wake Up and How to Live Well. I currently have How to Live Well on my bookshelf and can’t wait to start it! 🙂
Oh man, I am so far behind in the blogging world! I have been trying to keep up-to-date with everyone else’s blog and while also completely ignoring my blog. So pleeeeeeeease know that I not hatin’ on anyone–I love you all! 🙂
The last month I have been dealing with constant nausea, which I’m guessing is from my Lupus since this tends to happen often. It’s a bitch to get anything done when you have nausea. And if you are doing both? Forgetta’-bout it! Thankfully I didn’t have both but I still didn’t get anything done. Haha!
I went somewhere on Wednesday but I am not going to say where because I have pictures! 🙂 So hopefully I will post that blog soon.
This morning Storm and I woke up extra early and went for a walk to enjoy the cooler temperature. I can’t believe she actually stayed in her spot so I could get this shot! I have one a little closer but I like the long range pic the best.
Have a fabulous weekend!
P.S. I bet you can barely contain your excitement of finding out where I went, huh? 🙂
Well, so much for trying to get blogs written for Lupus Awareness Month! Hahaha! Oh well, at least I was able to get a couple done. And that is just how a person with Lupus needs to think; if it’s not done, then it’s not done and not to fret about what did not get done that day. However, I am fully aware that this easier said than done. At times I struggle with the frustration of how to let things go and\or take one day at a time. And honestly I don’t know if I would have learned these lessons, if not for Lupus.
This month is also Fibromyalgia Awareness Month with the National Awareness Day being May 12th!
Lupus and Fibromyalgia are so similar that some days I can’t tell which disease I am dealing with. Below are some Fibromyalgia symptoms
Thank you for taking the time to read these awareness posts! And remember, knowledge is POWER! 🙂