F*cking Fibro

Since I normally have insomnia, I love sleep. I love bedtime. I know to enjoy it when I get sleep because there is a good chance that I won’t get any the next night. However the last two to three months, I have hated sleep because my whole backside ends up in such pain every night. I wake up with a headache EVERY morning and the intense pain radiates down my neck and continues all the way down my back.

At first I thought it might be my new mattress, but it was past the return date so I couldn’t bring it back. I did some more thinking and also thought it could be my Fibromyalgia. I know talking with one of my aunts that she no longer sleeps in a bed because of her Fibro pain.

I decided to experiment one night and slept on my new couch, which mind you, is a comfy couch during the day. I found when I woke up, I had the same familiar pain. So I know it is my Fibro. This is the first time I have had issues from my Fibro and sleeping. After talking to a friend that also has Fibro, she mentioned she has dealt with the same issue and a zero gravity chair works great. So until I can save for a zero gravity chair to sleep in, I need to figure out something else.

On Monday I saw my family doctor and we decided it would be best to up one of my doses instead of adding another new pill to the mix that I already take. It should be at least a couple days before I can tell if the extra pill is working or not. So now I wait…

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Day Twenty-Nine

What a week! I had a very busy week so I was not able to blog. I have been slowly increasing the number of drops every day; tonight I took 18. I know it will be a little over 30 days until I am finished with the bottle, since I haven’t been taking the full recommended amount of drops per day. *Fun fact: there are 1,000 drops of CBD oil in a Hempworx bottle.*

One thing I have noticed is that I feel better when that special time of the month comes around (Men: skip the rest of this paragraph). I still get cramps, but they are soooooo much easier to deal with. Another plus is that my nausea isn’t as bad compared to when I’m not on the CBD oil.

Another thing that I have come to realize is that my IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) has calmed down. Don’t worry, I will spare you the details! 😄 Haha!! Just believe me when I say it helps with that issue.

A couple days ago, my arthritis in my left knee was letting me know that rain was coming. With an achy and painful knee, I had to completely use the rail along the stairs to be able to get to the top. I’m talking putting what weight I could on the rail while using my arm strength to pull me up each step. When I finally got at the top of the stairs, I took 3 drops of the CBD oil and rubbed it on my knee. I then went to lay down and found out an hour later that it helped! 😃 I still had some pain but it was much tolerable, plus I could actually walk!

I’m dreading when this bottle becomes empty because I can’t afford to purchase it. 😞 I don’t want to ask my parents to help because they’ve done enough for me. I’m not looking forward to once again dealing with the full force of my ailments.

Day Twenty-one

This last weekend my mom, sister and I went to Minnesota for a concert. I double checked that I brought my CBD oil with, as I would need all the extra help I could get that weekend. Our two days were going to be jam packed and I was afraid of how much it would effect me since I normally don’t move around a lot. I also didn’t want to interrupt my 30 straight days of using the oil.

Before leaving for the weekend, I talked with Jodi and gave her an update on things. I am still not feeling any energy, so she mentioned that I up my dose to 15 drops in the morning and 15 right before bed. That night I took 15 drops. The next day, Saturday, I had a headache so I took Advil instead of the oil. I wasn’t sure if the headache was sinus related, Lupus/Fibro related, lack of sleep (went to a concert Friday night) or because going up ten extra drops a day was too much for my body to handle (sudden change). Saturday night I lowered the amount to 12 drops and kept it at that number. I haven’t had any nausea or any more headaches. I will stay at this amount for the rest of the week, then ease up to 15 this weekend. It’s interesting how all bodies react differently.

Yesterday I had some Fibro pain in my neck so I put three drops on my palm and rubbed it in the area that had pain. Thirty minutes later I remembered my Fibro pain, only to find that I no longer had any pain! I am positive that it took less than 30 minutes but unfortunately that is when I took notice.

What Stress?

I want to apologize for not replying to all comments right away–I’m horrible at it. Which baffles me because I figured I would be good at it. Many times I am reading and replying to comments, then something shiny (a text message, an e-mail, taking Storm out–not that that is always “shiny” but you catch my drift) catches my eye. And when that happens, I usually forget what I was doing or working on. That is the product of my Lupus/Fibro Fog. Every so often I try to remember to go through the comments and see the ones that I have missed. The key words there are “try to remember.”

I found something I need to look at when feeling low. I suggest you look at Thug Unicorn on FB for some feel good and ass kicking mantras.  

from Facebook
from Facebook

These last two, or three (?) weeks have been very painful for me. Headaches (although at times they feel like migraines), earaches, neck and upper back pain non-stop, all day, every day.  I tried a few things and they didn’t work. I didn’t want to visit my doctor though because I knew what he would say, that I’m clenching my jaw at night and tensing up. Last time this happened, he couldn’t figure anything out so I went to an ear specialist. But that was so long ago that I can’t remember what the specialist said, all I know is that nothing came of it. My doctor decided though to switch up my night meds a little and see if it would help. I didn’t notice any difference that first night, so along with my new meds he also wanted me to take my old ones. Oh man, I slept soooo deep it was fabulous! Take that, insomnia! Ha! I love sleeping even more now. The downside is I am still in pain during the day. So I need to make another call to the doctor.

Like most people, I Googled my symptoms and I am fairly certain I have TMJ (The temporomandibular joint) issues. It mentions for TMJ issues that I would need to see a dentist. Well Medicare doesn’t cover dentistry. So, once I get my next monthly funds, I will be purchasing a mouth guard for night. I should have gotten a mouth guard years ago as I also grind my teeth at night. But I kept putting it off, maybe part being in denial that I actually need one. This time the pain is too great to not get one to see if it helps.

This pain has made me aware though, how much I am lacking with my mindfulness and meditation. So I am forcing myself to get back into those habits. I feel they truly make a difference in my life and I feel that life is better with those habits.

Two Fish, Three Fish, No Fish

Hey everyone, sorry you haven’t heard/seen me lately. I forgot how much my Fibromyalgia hates winter and cold. I was in more pain than normal all of last month. I went through some of your blog posts but that was all you were going to get from me. Haha! Around Thanksgiving I had a bitch of a migraine that wouldn’t disappear. Finally on the 5th straight day, I knew I had to go in and ask for something different/stronger than my Percocet. My sister, M, was kind enough to pick me up and take me to acute care so I could get a shot at the top of my butt. 🙂 It had been quite some time since I had to get a pain shot and whewwww it burned. Now, I am mostly feeling better.

And naturally, if it’s not me having health issues it’s Storm. Yes, she is still having issues with her leg and it started to swell up again. Either she opened her old wound or it burst open on its own. I have her blood/fluids on my floors, furniture and blankets because it is slowly draining. I’m impatiently waiting for her wound to heal so I can start deep cleaning. On Monday, I take her in to get an x-ray to see if that will show anything unusual. Sigh…this damn dog is getting to be too expensive for someone on just a Social Security income. 😦

See that big 'ol ball of fluid on what would be her kneecap?
See that big ‘ol ball of fluid on what would be her kneecap?

Thankfully, I no longer have a dating life so I am able to take care of Storm and myself. I really hate the dating life. The guy I really liked saw me for a few more weeks. One night we had a REALLY great night at my place. His wall finally came down a little. I found out he loves peanut butter too so we talked about it for about five straight minutes. What started our convo was that he asked if I had something to munch on and I showed him my box of peanut butter and chocolate chip granola bars. He said he was going to eat the whole box and I thought he was joking so I said that it was fine. He ended up eating the whole box! It was a brand new box! Haha! We were cuddling on the couch and it had been almost three weeks since seeing him last so I said I had missed him and he said he missed me too. Shortly after he took off so I could sleep. I texted him the next day and I got no response. I texted him the day after and the day after that. Nothing. Okay buddy, I can take a hint. I don’t want to assume but I think maybe he got the feels for me and that scared him. I don’t find it a coincidence that I express my feelings by saying that I missed him and him disappearing after that night.

I decided to meet up with another guy to see how that went. We started to watch a movie and he didn’t waste any time in pulling me in to cuddle. Red flag! I thought that I would see how it went it a little longer. He asked me if I wanted to know anything else about him and I mentioned that I couldn’t think of anything at that time. He said that he wanted to know something else about me so I asked what he wanted to know. He said, “I want to know if you are a good kisser.” I giggled, he was being so corny. So I thought, sure what the hell, and we started making out. Um, wow… Within minutes, the bottom half of my whole face was covered with his slobber. After an agonizing amount of time, I finally had to pull away and casually wipe my face.

I thought maybe I could try again but try to stay in charge and show him how to kiss me. I moved closer annnnnnnnd he stuck his tongue out in between his lips… Bahahahaha! He didn’t try put his tongue back in, he just sat there like that. HOW DO YOU EVEN RESPOND TO THAT?!?! I would lean in like I was going to kiss him,  but even then he wouldn’t pull it back in so I would awkwardly pull away. I tried a couple times yet nothing changed, so I just gave up and acted like I wanted to cuddle. Haha. He decided to give me a hickey on my neck. What the hell?!?! Are we back in high school?!?! And holy hell it HURT. It hurt so much that I could only grit my teeth in pain and not think about speaking up. Sure enough it was deep purple and hurt for a couple days after. *Shivers* It was such a bad date. He was a “one and done.” Soon after that, I deleted my profile on POF. dating

Lupus and Fibromyalgia

Well, so much for trying to get blogs written for Lupus Awareness Month! Hahaha! Oh well, at least I was able to get a couple done. And that is just how a person with Lupus needs to think; if it’s not done, then it’s not done and not to fret about what did not get done that day. However, I am fully aware that this easier said than done. At times I struggle with the frustration of how to let things go and\or take one day at a time. And honestly I don’t know if I would have learned these lessons, if not for Lupus.

This month is also Fibromyalgia Awareness Month with the National Awareness Day being May 12th!

Lupus and Fibromyalgia are so similar that some days I can’t tell which disease I am dealing with. Below are some Fibromyalgia symptoms

Thank you for taking the time to read these awareness posts! And remember, knowledge is POWER! 🙂