A Nightmare

*Viewer discretion: Not for the faint-hearted*

Wow… I should have knocked on wood after I finished my last post. Storm’s leg condition spiraled downward fast and started to affect the hair/skin past her foot. Her foot became so bloody which left my house bloody. Blah!

 

My sister saw Storm’s condition and was going to make me bring her into the vet’s on the day I wrote my last post. She was even going to pay for the bill herself. I didn’t make an appointment at first but then decided to take her up on her offer and bring Storm in on the next day.

I brought Storm in around 2:00 and she was all smiles to the vet techs, while she had blood dripping down her foot. They took a sample from her foot wound and went to check it. My vet came back into the room and told me her foot was dead. “There is no blood flowing in her foot,” he told me making sure I understood what he meant. I had a suspicion that he would say something along those lines. I held it together while talking to him about what to do next. He mentioned the foot had to come off as it is useless and to try and stop the infection from spreading. I asked him a few more questioned and said that I needed to take the time to see if my mom would let me borrow some money. I also had to think about where I would want them to cut, at her knee or hip. It was just so much to take in…

Seeing the foot was dead, I asked if there was any reason to keep the cone still on her. He said no but to maybe wrap her foot in a sock or something to help with the blood getting everywhere at home.

As soon as I left I realized I needed someone to talk to, but it was in the middle of the day and everyone was still working. I tried calling my dad but after a miscommunication on my part he called right back. I told him Storm’s foot was dead and immediately began sobbing. I told him that I knew it was just a foot but it still had a huge impact on me. He understood and sat on the phone with me for a bit as I released all my sadness and frustration. We got off the phone and I realized my mom had just gotten off work so I called her and told her the news as well.

I came home and decided to wrap her foot so she didn’t have to wear that annoying collar anymore. I had leftover gauze and wrap from the night before when I tried wrapping it. I soon found out that I didn’t have enough of each and only half of her foot was wrapped. I quickly ran to Walmart to pick up the items and went right back home.

I opened my door and I saw blood all over the floor. Blood all over my love seat. Blood all over her foot—-no, wait. The blood was from inside her foot. She ate half of her foot.

I slowly came inside while creeping her way. She had blood smeared over the side of her face. I remember saying “no” and “Storm” over and over again. She didn’t seem fazed, she just watched me. I called my mom and with difficulty told her she needed to come over ASAP, that I needed help. My mom came inside and had a hard time with the scene as well. She told me to call the vet so we could bring her back in. We wrapped her stump with a couple kitchen towels and seeing that I was in no shape to drive, my mom drove us to the vet.

While originally talking to my dad about where to amputate, he mentioned a couple of points that helped me to make the decision of amputating her leg at the hip. We were told that she would have emergency surgery the next day.

 

I am stopping this post for now as I am sure it is quite a bit to take in for my loyal readers. This story doesn’t stop at this point though, sadly it continues and I will write another post hopefully soon.

 

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Blindsided

Right now I am trying to take note of each emotion that I am feeling…

 

I feel sadness.

I feel anger.

 

I think those are the main two a person can feel after being blindsided by a friend. It’s painful when someone decides to no longer be in your life. In my situation, there also is some confusion as I have no idea what I did wrong as it was not told to me. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. And it pisses me off because I deserved a proper face to face goodbye. Not some stupid text in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. My texts go unanswered and they blocked me on Facebook. It’s hard to take this in as this person was a childhood friend and within the last few months we became better friends. I know they are a good person. Well, at least I thought they were…

 

I wanted this to be a longer post as my mind is consumed by this recent event. But I find myself at a loss for words…